My children had always wanted a pet, so I finally gave in. His name was Strudel, and he was a purebred Golden Retriever puppy with big clumsy feet, floppy ears, and golden butter yellow fur. Strudel was almost the perfect dog. He never misbehaved. He never bit or chewed on the furniture. THe only issue was that he talked- and only to me.
Strudel was a gossip. He loved to tell me all the neighbors' secrets, but what he truly had a passion for was tattle tailing on my kids.
"See, Xavier is a pyromaniac. He actually set Mrs. Finch's hair on fire yesterday. Mrs. Finch was afraid no one would believe her. Anisa, on the other hand is showing a homicidal streak. She's been slaughtering cats, birds, and mice when she says she's going to Willie's house. Tuesday is a perfect angel, except for the fact she's a compulsive liar. She says that she set the explosion on Cherry Street, but she didn't." Strudel chattered.
"I see... could you call them inside, please?" I ask in a too calm voice.
"Of course." Strudel smiled.
My three children walked in nervously fidgeting with their clothes. They even looked guilty.
"Well? Anything to say, kids?" I asked coldly.
"Oh! I aced my history test." Xavier said, hoping I would lighten up. My expression didn't change.
"I helped a suffering bird find happiness." Anisa said, hoping the same. My expression was still the same.
"I killed Mr. Lucas." Tuesday smirked.
"No you didn't!" I burst out. "Tuesday, you are a liar! Anisa, you kill animals! Xavier, you are a pyromaniac! Why didn't you tell me?"
"We were afraid you'd send us away!" they cried.
"Are you kidding me? I couldn't be more proud! You're finally taking after me! Didn't you know I was Jack the Ripper?'
"Wow! You're like my hero!" Anisa gasped.
I totally loved my children. I had Strudel to thank for telling me their wonderful new talents. I gave him a cat to chase.
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